What Girls in China Actually Look for in a Boyfriend

For some reason, I’m always surrounded by beautiful girls—I’m not kidding. Because of this, many of my friends often ask me how they can find a girlfriend in China. My answer to them is very simple: you just need to know two things. First, you need to know what the girl likes, and second, you need to know where you can find them. I decided to stop guessing and actually put myself out there to ask random girls these questions directly. I wanted to know what they like in a man, where they go to find a boyfriend, and if being handsome or having money is really that important.

What I Learned About Dating in China

I’m a shy guy, but for you guys, I braved the streets with my friend Gabby, a professional filmmaker, to get some real answers. I started by failing miserably. I walked up to a beautiful girl and just blurted out, "You’re so beautiful! Maybe we can date?" She immediately asked if I had a house or money. When I said no, she said "bye-bye." It wasn’t going to be easy, but I kept going to give you a real look at the reality of dating in China.

The Height and Money Factor

One of the first things I noticed is that "tall" is a very common requirement. One girl I spoke with who was streaming on Chinese TikTok mentioned she wanted a businessman who is "very tall." Another girl told me her Chinese girlfriend requirements included a guy being at least 1.8 meters (about 5'11"). Since I’m only 170 cm, I felt like I was already out of the game!

When it comes to money, the answers were surprising. I asked almost every girl: "If a guy is very ugly but has a lot of money, is it okay?" Most of them said no. One girl told me she couldn't even stand the thought, while another said she wouldn’t even want to kiss someone just because they had money. A student I spoke with gave the best perspective: she said a handsome boy can make money in the future, but a man who only has money has nothing else to offer. It seems the cliché that Chinese girls only care about bank accounts isn't as true as people think.

Where to Meet Your Future Chinese Girlfriend

If you are looking for love, you might want to skip the clubs. Almost every girl I interviewed rejected the idea of finding a partner in a bar. One streamer told me flat out, "There is no love in bars." Instead, they suggested these places:

• Libraries and Bookstores: Many girls feel these places attract "good" men.
• Coffee Shops: A classic spot for a more natural meeting.
• University: One girl I met who actually had a boyfriend met him while studying in Xiamen.
• Travelling: One girl suggested that getting out and exploring is the best way to meet someone responsible.

The most common answer, however, was "fate." Many girls told me they don't look in specific places; they just believe that when the moment comes, they will meet the right person on the street or through a random encounter. It’s all about yuanfen—predestined relationship or fate.

Character Over Cash

While "handsome" and "tall" were on the wishlist, the deeper I talked to these girls, the more they mentioned "responsibility" and "character." One girl told me she wants someone who feels like a "daddy"—not in a weird way, but someone who takes care of her and treats her well. Another girl, who was actually out with her girlfriend, mentioned that kindness and having things to talk about—like the universe and society—mattered way more than looks or money.

"If he is good to you, nothing else matters. Good character and being good to you is more important."

After a whole afternoon of "scientific research," here is the bottom line: if you want to find a girlfriend in China, you need to develop your character. Be responsible, treat people well, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there. I met ten girls, and eight of them were single and looking for someone who would simply treat them right.

If you want to see these awkward encounters and hear the stories for yourself, check out my YouTube channel where I share more about life and stories here. Don't be shy like I was—just go out there and start a conversation. Good luck finding your next girlfriend!